Part of managing stress is exercising, because of endorphins etc. So the professor’s genius idea was to invite her (rather annoying) friend who happens to be a yoga instructor to do an hour long yoga session with the class. Normally I am a huge fan of yoga because it’s so stretching and relaxing. But at six months pregnant I found it to be anything but relaxing.
The majority of the poses were done laying flat on your back which made it extremely difficult to breath. I had to keep flipping over to my side to gasp in a few breaths before attempting the techniques. I was boiling about being so fat can’t put my knees to my chest when the yoga instructor decides that this position is what we will do next.
Yoga instructor- “ok my little beams of sunlight, now we will open to grace with this shoulder stand” rises to shoulder stand then lowers legs to her face, she now bears a striking resemblance to a pretzel.
Me: attempts shoulder stand, blocked by baby, groans lays on floor like bump on log
Yoga instructor- walking around room stops at me, “how are you doing?”
Me-feeling embarrassed, “my baby won’t let me do that pose, so I’m just going to lay here. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem for me but I’m pregnant.” (I have a persistent need to describe to people how agile I am whilst not pregnant….I don’t know why)
Yoga Instructor- “Let me help you!” Grabs my feet yanks me to shoulder stand, “Now, open to grace my little flower.”
Me: now incapable of breathing at all turning red in the face uttering tiny raspy gasps in my attempt to breath.
Yoga Instructor- Beaming, “how are you doing?”
Me: not wanting to be a wimp, “fine”
Yoga Instructor- After holding feet for ridiculously long time then decides that she will leave me on my own and walk away.
Me: unable to support myself in that position crashes to ground causing such a raucous that the entire room turns to stare.
I should point out that it is now about 9:00pm, all I really want is to get in my jammies and snuggle in for the night. Instead I endure another half hour of beaming sunshine, and grace and various types of flowers that she feels the need to call us whilst inflicting the worst kind of torture possible on me.
Now I understand why most yoga gyms offer “prenatal” yoga classes. I’m sure they don’t ask those women to balance on their heads or lay on their stomachs and bend like pretzels. Until I experience an adaptive class fit for my “condition” I am now completely convinced that yogi’s are the driving force of Satan’s minions, they are pure evil.
haha! Paula, your post made me laugh! I, too, hate Yoga. It seems like doing never ending wall sits for every muscle...not something I find relaxing AT ALL!
ReplyDeleteGood Luck with the class!
Oh Paula, I just added your blog to my list. Anyway I just wanted to give a shout out for medication while laboring...I know you'll make the right decision for you but if you wanted to know how blissful and simple my labor became just shoot me an email or something (it was all about the meds).
ReplyDeleteYay! I'm so happy to log on and see comments! People are actually reading my blog:)
ReplyDeleteKristin, I know right?! It IS likea hour long wall sit...not fun!
Erin, I'm glad you added my blog, I've been following/stalking yours for a couple weeks now. Your little girl is ADORABLE by the way. We'll see about labor, I'm signed up for the hypnobirthing class (which is supposed to make labor blissful and pain free) but you're not the first person to tell me that I will most likely be screaming for the meds the second that it gets painful:)
I have been reading. I really enjoy your posts. You are a very good writer.
ReplyDeleteI read about Hypnobabies. Is this a class you're taking or are you doing the home study kit? We're going the water birth route instead and I've been listening to some relaxation birth tracks (usually end up falling asleep!). Do you have the option of the water birth?
It's a class that I'm taking at the hospital. It doesn't start until next month so I don't really know a whole lot about the techniques they use but I think it's a lot of visualization techniques with some breathing. I was attracted to it because it's focus is on retraining you on how you've been conditioned to think of labor. Instead of looking forward to it as the day you experience the most pain of your life, they teach you to look forward to it and empower you with techniques to handle what they call , "labor discomfort." That attitude is so much more empowering, I'm super excited to start the class.
ReplyDeleteMy regular obgyn doesn't deliver babies anymore, and it will be a couple weeks 'til I meet the doc that will deliver the baby so I really don't know too much about what's available to me...eeek!
My cousin did water births with her two babies and she loved it. It does sound like a good way to stay calmer and more relaxed during the birthing process, if it's available to me I might incorporate that in there too. So much to consider! Midwives, doula's meds vs. non meds and so on, it's overwhelming a little isn't it? That's funny that those tracks make you fall asleep! You can call up all that relaxation when your baby is being born:)