Making Plans and Learning Patience

(image borrowed from Google)

“Give your stress wings and let it fly away. 

~Terri Guillemets”

Previously I blogged about the focus and tunnel vision I was experiencing while waiting for the birth of our baby.  I think in my mind that the baby was for sure going to be born early.  The second she became full-term I expected her to bounce right into the world.  Though it's ridiculous to say I planned it that way, that is indeed the case.  When my plans to control nature with my mind fell through I was baffled.  Alas, I’m learning something I think I need to apply to multiple facets of my life, patience. 

We don’t always get the promotion we want when we want it, or meet that special someone when we think we should, or be able to have a baby right when we plan it.  Part of the beauty of life is the variability of it. It’s unpredictable, messy and lovely all in the same breath. 

Let me share a little physiology with you.  During pregnancy circulating levels of estrogen and progesterone increase.  These increases are paramount to the healthy development of baby during pregnancy.  During the final stages of pregnancy these hormones spike to an all time high, this helps to preparing the body for birth.  An unfortunate side effect of this spike is extra, super duper moodiness. 

Overall, if I had to describe myself I would say I am very even tempered.  Kevin’s boss was asking how I was doing and wanted to know if I was in the “cranky stage” yet.  She said during the final weeks of her pregnancy her poor husband couldn’t do anything right, she would yell at him just because she could.  Kevin laughed and said he knew I was pretty tired of being pregnant but he didn’t think I was cranky yet.  Let me be frank, internally I am a messy blob of over emotion.  I am trying my best to temper it (though irrational outbursts have occurred recently) but it’s not easy when everything is so darn annoying lately!

Normal everyday interactions somehow strike me as annoying as EVERYTHING seems to remind me that I am STILL pregnant. 

Here are some recent interactions that demonstrate what I’m trying to describe:

Well intentioned person: “well” they say, “you are almost there, just a few more days!”

Me: politely smiles and says “that’s true”….but inside I’m thinking.  “Days!!!!! Do you realize what you are saying?  Every single day feels like a year!  And you think the fact that I have a few more of them to endure will help me feel better?  I DON’T THINK SO!  I then walk away feeling ruffled and indignant.

Curious Friend:  Where’s that baby?

Me:  Again with the polite smile, and I say, “She’s still not here yet, I’m sure she’ll come when she’s ready.” But internally I’m thinking, “What do you think this belly is???? It’s not like I went on a ding-dong eating binge!  Also, do people typically leave their houses without their newborn infants?  What does she expect me to say?  Yup I had the baby!  She’s resting in her crate inside with the dog.  Don’t worry we tied a bottle to the side of the crate she can drink from if she gets hungry while we’re out.  We're choosing the natural selection parenting technique, we want to make sure our baby is at least as intelligent as a hamster before we make a commitment on keeping her.”

Neighbor who thinks he is hilarious- Are you still A ROUND…..pa ha ha ha

Me: politely laughs in return and says “well it certainly seems so!”   I’m not sure I should even write what I’m really thinking…..suffice it to say, pregnancy is not a free ticket to call a woman fat, EVER.  I am baffled by how many people don’t get that.

Neighbor’s dog:  Bark, bark, bark……..bark………bark, bark…………………. BARK!

Me:  With each bark my blood pressure rises and rises. Until finally I leap up and begin rummaging through papers for the number to security.

In between these fits of mania I am still my same rational self.  I realize that, “this too shall pass.”  I can still see the beautiful things that I am blessed with; an awesome husband who I grow to love more and more every single day, a healthy baby, an easy pregnancy, a nice place to live, jobs, the gospel etc.  When I refocus I feel the peace that I long for return to my life.  I need to give myself permission to do as the quote says, to “give my stress wings and let it fly away.”  And to realize that when things don’t go according to how I plan them, it’s because God has a better plan in mind.  

Advice for the Undergraduate

A young college undergraduate recently asked me if a college education was really worth it anymore.  After all, my friend reasoned, the market is saturated with college graduates and many of those graduates are working menial jobs.  My friend said there was research to back his arguments and those researchers claimed debt incurred negated success achieved later.  They also claim a college degree is basically null in the current market.  I considered these arguments in depth and decided that they are based on granules of truth but lack an alternate route to success and any real message except "give up".  I find this message damaging and pessimistic, I hope to dig out the real answer to this dilemma.  So I’m about to put on my Dr. Laura hat and offer my opinion (as a recent college grad) of the value of higher education. 

I will concur that there was a time when a college education was a golden ticket to a high paying job.  Graduates could wave their diploma around and step into high paying management type jobs.  It is true that today that much labored for piece of paper doesn’t carry as much weight.  Employers will look at a degree and say that’s nice, we’re looking for a degree plus 5 years experience.  Let’s look at why this is the case. 

According to the Bureau of Labor and Statistics, in the month of July alone there were 143,703 separations.  During the previous year over 500,000 separations were reported.  Simple math dictates that this year’s rate is double the previous year’s with projections of over one million separations predicted by year’s end. 

These separations mean that there are literally hundreds of thousands of workers with education AND experience currently searching for jobs.  Economists say that, “College graduates entering the job market in 2009 and early 2010 will face more competition than we’ve seen since the Great Depression.”

The market IS saturated with college graduates, which is why it is more imperative than EVER to obtain an education.  I believe that many college students are approaching their education with an outdated attitude.  They expect to achieve success in life by obtaining their degree.  They show up to class, get good grades, and work a part-time dead end job just to pay bills.  Still more chose not to work at all and focus on just school alone.

College is 100% what you put into it.  It is not unreasonable to say that you can graduate with a degree AND applicable job experience.  Is the road easy? NO!  Will it be worth it? YES!  If I could offer a few pieces of advice to my young friend it would be this; limit debt incurred from student loans, develop a strong network while in school, and obtain applicable work experience while in school.

While it may take some extra work and ambition it is not impossible to obtain scholarships and work for most of your tuition.  Common advice when I was entering college was, get a student loan to pay for all expenses and focus on good grades.  I did this and ended up incurring a substantial debt because of it.  I will probably spend the rest of my adult life trying to pay it off.  Some debt will be necessary but my advice would be to seek options that will cost you the least while still offering a quality education.  Strategies to limit debt incurred from education are endless.

Next, develop a large and diverse network while in college.  That slippery haired biology professor with the strange research fascination with hermaphroditic amphibians is also a published and respected scientist.  Yes, he’s creepy but a referral from him could greatly improve your chances of getting into med school or open doors to lucrative careers you had never previously considered.   Remember that old saying “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”  Don’t be fooled into thinking that good grades are good enough, they’re not.

And lastly start NOW by building your work experience.  This is a transient and opportune time of life.  Seek out opportunities for employment in a field closely related to where you want to eventually go.  Many companies offer tuition reimbursement as part of their benefits package, so you can accrue applicable experience and fund your education with on fell swoop.  Remember that not all resume-building experiences are paid opportunities, search out volunteer opportunities, internships, set up job shadows and find a current professional willing to mentor you.  Get to know professionals working in your career of interest, connections you make now will open doors for career opportunities later. 

The current economic climate has made higher education a necessity instead of a golden ticket.  Consider your education as an important ingredient in the recipe of success.    Unemployment rates are staggering, and are continuing to trend upward. My advice would be to afford yourself every opportunity for success possible by pursuing and achieving a higher education.  

Evolution of the Baby Bump

Trimester Number ONE

8 weeks along.  Feeling a little nauseous but didn't know it was because I was pregnant!

we're having a baby!

10 weeks....still not too obvious yet.

Trimester Number TWO

baby at 19 weeks, my stomach looked very similar to the 10 week pic.

after long hiatus from belly pics. here it is at 24 weeks!

25 weeks 

Trimester Number THREE

28 weeks

32 weeks

37 weeks and 5 days... technically full term!!

Birth Day

This monday was a special day, because it was the day that it was officially safe to have the baby!  I don't think I've looked forward to anything more in my entire life.  I feel like a kid trying to sleep on Christmas Eve. How can I when SANTA is coming?!

When I wake up to baby's kicks and wiggles I say, "Good morning little one, today could be your birthday! Come on out!"  It seems like she is listening because on Saturday she "dropped".  This just means that the baby drops down into the pelvis signaling the body's preparation for labor and birth.  The doctor said he wouldn't be surprised to see her within the next two weeks. 

I can only describe myself this week as having tunnel vision.  I'm completely focused on birth and the day we get to meet our little one.  I'm surely driving everyone around me insane with my constant banter about labor and birth.  But it's an exciting time for us and my body has had about all it can take of pregnancy now.  I'm still hanging in there though and trying to remember that when the time is right, the baby will come.


As you all know I am choosing to have a natural birth using HypnoBirthing techniques.  An important part of a HypnoBirth is releasing fear and staying calm and relaxed during the birthing process.   I have found that watching a video which I originally saw in my birthing class of a woman birthing her child through hypnobirth has helped ease whatever anxiety I have had about birthing naturally.

I really believe that we need to start removing the negative connotations surrounding birthing and replace them with the reality that birth can be a physically challenging yet still positive experience.  For that reason I have attached the video.  


*****WARING******  This is a real live birth so be aware of that before you click on the link.  If I had to rate this clip I would rate it pg-13 only because she breastfeeds her infant after it's born and you get a full view of that.  That is the ONLY nudity in the clip though.  If you have been curious about how I'm going to make it through birth without an epidural watch this video, it will change your life!  Keep in mind that during the entire clip this woman is in the stage where most Hollywood movies portray women screaming and throwing things because of  how much pain they're experiencing.  See how calmly and serenely she manages the "pushing" stage, INCREDIBLE!

Calm Beautiful HypnoBirth