Pity Party

Today was beautiful.  It was the first day in the 70's since the onset of winter. Yet it felt dark. Why?  Around 2 o'clock this afternoon I heard a jiggle at the door and in came husband, Kylea yelled, "Dadda!!"  and I called out, "hello! You're home early!!!" As I looked up into his face I knew, it happened again... he didn't get the job.

I've posted on here before about our epic battle with gaining a promotion for husband.  I try not to post about it too often because, well, it's depressing. He's weathered a lot of rejection, but this one REALLY stung.  The interviewer complimented him extensively during the interview and then a week and a half later, personally contacted him to say that he was "very impressed with him but had decided to hire someone with more experience."  Here's my giant gripe about the "experience" excuse.  The one caveat is, just because the person has experience doesn't mean they were actually GOOD at what they were doing.  Either way, you are taking a gamble, why not gamble on husband?

I could throw a pity party, and believe me, for the better part of today we have.  We've frowned, pouted, skulked, and complained all afternoon so far all that pity has just made us feel so much worse.

Instead I want to celebrate 20 things that make my life great.

1- I have an awesome, hardworking, funny, smart husband who is my best friend.  We're celebrating 5 years of marriage next week, can you believe it?!  I can't.

2. We have a beautiful, bright, spunky little girl who is healthy and happy.  I have a friend who is pregnant now and is facing all kinds of difficulties.  Delivery of a healthy baby is truly a miracle that I haven't fully appreciated.

3. We have a lovely new home that is all ours.  Words like "mortgage" can be scary but other words like, "equity" are so, so sweet.  

4. We live in a wonderfully supportive and beautiful community.  I have never been around so many genuinely nice people.  We have made many friends and feel very at home.  It's nice to be surrounded with views like snow capped mountains a lake and when we venture out on walks, fields that are beginning to bloom with wildflowers and a green beautiful golf course. 

5. We had the blessing and opportunity to obtain higher education.  Yes, it's been a financial burden to pay for.  But it has expanded our minds in a way that nothing else could.  I honestly believe that my degree makes me a better mom and citizen of the world.

6. I am blessed to currently work as a stay-at-home mommy.  It's a title that has taken some swallowing of pride to embrace. But I really do love it.  I am grateful that I get to be a part of every day of her little life.

7. Both husband and I are remarkably healthy.  Seriously, we rarely get sick and have never had serious health complications, a tremendous blessing indeed!

8. I'm grateful for the 3+ years that husband and I had to spend together before baby came along.  

9. I'm thankful for the talents that I have been able to develop. Especially playing the piano.  That and running are the two releases of stress for my soul.  

10. I'm thankful my mom insisted on me taking lessons and practicing for all those years.  Thanks, Mom!

11. I'm thankful that, even though we don't have a lot, we always have enough.  

12. I'm thankful for a Heavenly Father who hears and answers prayers even when the only thing I can think to ask is, "why?"  he sends peace.

13. I'm thankful that it's General Conference weekend. 

14. I'm thankful for my Savior, Jesus Christ, and for his infinite atonement in my (and all of our) behalf.  I'm imperfect but, because of Him, that's ok.

15. I'm thankful for my running shoes.  They've taken me many places and worked through many things.  I love to run.

16. I'm thankful that I am NOT, in fact, pregnant (more on that little scare later).

17. I'm thankful for sunny days, spent outside.

18. I'm thankful for days I get to dress up pretty.....the little princess still lives inside me, I LOVE dress up:)

19. I'm thankful for friends who love me for who I am.

20. I'm thankful for being blessed to be a part of a wonderful family who love and support me (nuclear and extended) as well as in-laws who have accepted me into their family and extended love and support to me and my family too.

Wow, you know what?  I do feel a little better.  Life is good, it's just not always easy to remember that.

Just Bein' Cute!

18 months

"NOOOOOOOO!" she shrieked.  Every fiber of her tiny being was flexed and quivering.  Even the "O" came out wavering and labored.  I stood and watched my child, wide eyed.  I was not angry, not frustrated, but completely bewildered!   

Thoughts raced through my mind.  What should I do?  A time-out? Surely something must be done, this behavior is unacceptable.  Thankfully through befuddlement came that calm clear voice of inspiration I have come to trust, "she needs a hug"  

A hug?  really? It's worth a try.  I knelt down and scooped her up in my arms.  She pushed away with both tiny arms for just a moment then laid her head down on my shoulder and sobbed.  I could hear myself saying, "It's been a frustrating day for you hasn't it?  All these things just make you, mad, mad, mad! I love you very, very much"  Her sobs subsided and she looked into my face with little tear stained cheeks and smiled, as if to say, "thanks mom, I'm glad you understand."

We've turned a corner.  I still call her my baby, she will always be my baby, but she has become a toddler.  She's bright and curious and active.  

You might be a toddler mom if, 

While using the restroom you can see two little hands wriggling under the door and the little giggle on the other side.

You see this, when you open your dishwasher.

mama's little helper was hard at work

You have read the same children's book 473 million times, in one day.

At night, the song running through your head as you fall asleep is, "The itsy bitsy spider" or "baby beluga"

If cleaning takes on a new aerobic quality.  If you want to see floor when you are finished, all cleaning and tidying must be done at the speed of light times two..... or faster.

If your favorite time of day is nap time.

If snuggles are harder to come by, but still so sweet.

If you spend a significant portion of your day preparing snacks and meals that go largely untouched.

Sure it has it's challenges, but I've found it to be more rewarding than ever. She is expressive, curious and cuter than ever. She gasps, points and asks, "what that?!" when she sees something she loves or is new.  She loves to get my attention and babble stories.  She has a highly developed sense of humor. She's a funny little girl, we just love her to pieces!