Sunday, February 20, 2011

Help Wanted











Doctor- Have you been under some stress lately?

Me- (looks at baby).......yes

Doctor-  Guess what you have?

Me- What???

Doctor- Shingles!  (like this is good news)

Me-............seriously?



This diagnosis hit me like a ton of bricks.  This virus has been in my system since I had chicken pox at the age of 7 and it's released on me again because of.....stress?

They say when it rains it pours and lately it's been pouring!  We've fielded almost every kind of stress there is these last couple months, emotional, mental, physical, and financial we've been there.

The first element of the stress recipe is lack of sleep.  Everyone knows that you won't sleep with a baby but this last month has been worse than usual. It all began with Kylea's first cold.  She has quite the flair for drama and she howled heartbrokenly for hours on end usually until she passed out asleep.  Of course she has become very attached to her mama and only wanted me while she wasn't feeling well.  When she was passed to someone else her screams would jump several octaves and grow several decibels until she was returned to me.  I think this affinity has more to do with a certain food producing anatomical appendage than anything else.

Shortly thereafter baby girl decided that sleep was optional because eating was necessary at least every hour day and night.  I believe the technical term is "4 month old regression."  Not every baby does it, but ours did.    

Part two of stress cocktail is financial concerns.  The dreaded student loans have entered repayment.  I feel a great sense of accomplishment for obtaining my degree but also a great deal of guilt for burdening my husband and family with the debt. This was sort of the icing on the cake.  Kevin and I haven't really had financial concerns in our marriage because we've always been very frugal.  I console myself by saying that I can't feel too guilty because I made a goal and I went about achieving it the ONLY way that I knew how.  And I did it!  Still, guilt is a tricky emotion.

It has been a VERY stressful month and a half.  Isn't it funny how my sleep deprived stressed out body punishes me more by breaking out into a giant painful rash.  Silly body, that's an incredibly counterproductive response to this situation!

If I could, I would post a "help wanted" add for multiple me's.  One would be there to meet Kylea's every need, the other would take care of home concerns, the other would go out into the job market utilize her education and earn money to pay off her student debt, and one to just take it easy get a haircut or a pedicure.  Maybe then I wouldn't break out into stress induced rashes.






I'm stressed but it's all worthwhile for this cute little girl.....enjoy some pictures.
at the mall

If mommy wasn't always after my hair it would look like this, wild!

Sick Kylea likes to ride in the sling and suck her fingers




best buddies

I love to read!  


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

True Love

This Valentines Day I was determined would be different. We normally don't make a big deal out of this holiday but since the birth of Kylea has divided our time and attention from each other I felt like it would be nice if we tried to make it special.  One monday morning about a week before V-Day Kylea was up bright and early.  Though I was none too thrilled to be up so early (again) it was PERFECT!  I could take the car under the pretense of going to mommy and baby yoga class and instead go shopping for supplies for a perfectly romantic dinner for two.  I was thinking sparkling cider, filet mingnon, candles the works!

The plan started without a hiccup, we packed into the car (dog included, he likes to go on rides) and took Kevin to work.  On the way home little missy decided to start howling.  If there's one thing in this world she HATES it's her carseat.  The car seat is her arch nemesis.  I listen to other mothers talking about going on rides to put their baby to sleep with envy.  No matter what that seat is doing she despises it.

The drive from Kevin's work to our house is only about 15 min. but it felt like 15 hours.  Tekoa sat in the back with the howling baby ears pinned against his head with a look of sheer misery on his face.  Finally he sidled over to Kylea and laid his head down on her lap.  This interested Kylea for exactly 12 seconds.  It was long enough for her to reach her tiny hands out and engage Tekoa's ear in a kung-fu death grip.  It's a good thing T is such a good dog because he just sat back there patiently letting her maul his ear while we continued home.

Of course we got caught behind the commuter train and I decided this would be a good opportunity to put the binky back in Kylea's mouth.  I put the car in park unbuckled and shoved the binky into her mouth which only succeeded in making her even more  angry.  After several attempts with the binky I gave up and turned around. In my haste, I accidentally mistook the gas pedal for the brakes, the engine roared, the baby screamed and the guy in front of me flipped me the bird...twice.  The crying continued all the way home, it was miserable.

Needless to say, my plans for a romantic surprise were never realized. On Valentines day we woke up made sure to say I love you to one another and started our day as usual.  When Kevin returned home we went out for a simple dinner, went on a walk and settled down for the night.  When it came time to put a cranky and resistant Kylea to bed, I was at my wits end.  I wasn't feeling good and just didn't think I had the patience to get her to sleep that night.  Suddenly, (without even being asked) Kevin walked over picked up the baby, swaddled her took her to her room and sweetly sang her to sleep.

Those simple actions, to me were the ultimate expression of love.  It was better than all the chocolates and all the roses in the world!  I sat on the couch staring into the fireplace just drinking in the serenity and thinking that this was the BEST Valentines day ever.