Maybe you noticed and maybe you haven't but I haven't blogged in a long time... like a really long time. Not because nothing is happening, LOTS has happened and I'm actually wracked with guilt that my sweet little Neila has aged to the ripe old age of 9 months and hasn't had the monthly update that Kylea got. We had a really rough decision that we made and I think I've been waiting until I was ready to write about it to return to blogging. I didn't anticipate it taking so long. I also wanted to have lots of time to properly articulate how I was feeling about the situation and give it it's due diligence. That's just not going to happen, not with two kiddos.
Here's the not-so-short story. Neila was allergic to Tekoa. I suspected it for weeks before I finally admitted it. I only admitted it after having to take my poor sweet 6 week old Neila to Primary Children's Hospital at 3 in the morning because she was having a very difficult time breathing. She had a slight cold but was so very congested the poor little thing couldn't breath hardly at all. The respitory tech at the hospital tried to suction the congestion out of her nose with their special machinery but had to take time out to search for the smallest tube, her nasal passages were so swollen and irritated that the normal newborn tube couldn't be forced into her nasal passages.
The doctor came in and discussed her diagnosis. Neila had rhinovirus (the common cold) and was probably suffering from another irritant as well. That other irritant was eventually discovered to be, Tekoa. It was Mother's Day we sat in a dark hospital room trying to get a grouchy Kylea to lay down on the hospital bed and take a nap and holding my baby, who after 3 bouts of suctioning, was finally able to breath enough to get some sleep. Tears squeezed from my cheeks as I thought of my third child at home curled up in his crate with no clue what was coming. Worst Mother's Day ever.
We had waited for Tekoa's birth, tracked his first 8 weeks of life with excitement driven all the way to Denver and taken him back to Salt Lake with us. He made us proud, taught us lessons brought us unimaginable joy. He was a watchful big brother to Kylea. He watched over her during those first months when she was in questionable health under the bili lights, never complained when she crawled on him, pulled his ears and dressed him like a princess. He was the perfect dog. How could I give away the perfect dog?
We all cried, a lot. With a heavy heart I petitioned our community for individual who would be willing to add our beloved Tekoa to their family. I personally interviewed at least a dozen families, and met with several others. It was coming down to the wire. We had interviewed just about everyone and there just wasn't anyone that was jumping out at us. We met with a lot of good people who adored Tekoa but we just weren't sure they were willing to give him the same treatment we would.
Then the phone rang. One more family wanted to meet him. The knock at the door came and in poured a man a woman and their several children. The woman told us of their deep love for Siberians. They had owned 2 Sibes before they had children whom they loved dearly and were devastated when old age finally took them. She had brought a scrap book filled with photos of their beloved sibes. The children were perfect with him played respectfully with him and were thrilled by his tricks. Tekoa delightedly performed his "bang-bang" trick (play dead) repeatedly to squeals of glee from the children. I was happy but couldn't conceal my emotion when talking about the logistics of Tekoa and once again I was crying. The woman wrapped her arms around me and cried too. She told me she knew how it felt to say goodbye to a beloved family member. We thanked them and shut the door and told them we would be in contact.
We didn't need time though....they were the ones. the only ones I could picture loving him the way he deserved. Kevin ran down the stairs and told them we wanted them to have him.
They came the next day. Tekoa jumped gladly into their car puppy smiling the whole time. As we walked back toward the house Kylea screamed out what I think both Kevin and I's hearts were screaming, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!! MY WOOOO WOOOOO!!!!!! NOO!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!" We all wept uncontrollably.
In the days that followed I blubbered endlessly. I may or may not have wept while dramatically singing Sarah Mclaughlin's "I will Remember You" as I vacuumed up Tekoa's fur. I guess I have a flair for drama. But I felt like I was betraying him. I wept again when I opened the pantry to prepare dinner and saw the giant space where the bucket for his dog food used to be. I wept when neighbors asked me about Tekoa and what had happened. He left a hole, a palpable void in our lives.
We LOVED that dog! He never missed a walk in his entire life, ever. Except on the days that he went to doggy daycare and played with his doggy friends. It's been several months now and I still miss him. I think I always will. His new family writes us and sends us photos. He's happy and healthy and is bringing another family joy. And that's all we really want for our kids, right? Happiness.
woo and his new brothers and sisters
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