Confession

You know those women who LOVE being pregnant?  The ones who say they love their bellies and that pregnancy makes them feel sexy? Yeah..... I'm not one of them.  I wish I was, but I'm not.

Confession time.  I hate being pregnant.  Don't get me wrong, I love the end result.  There isn't anyone on planet earth that could deny the fact that we are completely 100% bat crazy in love with our Kylea.  She is the epicenter of my universe.  She and my husband;) But I very much dislike pregnancy.

Nothing makes me feel LESS attractive than pregnancy.  And this pregnancy has definitely been more dramatic than my pregnancy with Kylea.  I've been more tired, cranky, achy, forgetful, and sick than I ever was with little Ky.  I just really hate not feeling like my normal active and healthy self.

On the bright side, we have just exited the 1st trimester.  This has kind of been like stepping into the light after a long and arduous journey through a dark tunnel.  I feel much less sick (though admittedly I still get queasy in the evening time), and I feel much more energetic.  Catching up from the weeks of being able to barely drag myself after Kylea is clearly evident.  My house is a disaster (which has been terrible for my extremely OCD nature) and my family hasn't eaten a square meal in weeks (what kind of "housewife" am I?!).  Thankfully the Lord blessed me with an extremely understanding and helpful companion in life, what would I do without him? Fortunately now, I can stand to open my pantry without running for the bathroom, and I have sufficient energy to prepare a meal AND actually play with Kylea.  It's wonderful.

None of this is meant to overshadow the fact that I AM excited.  It's funny how much different I feel this time around.  Last time, pregnancy was like stepping into the great unknown.  This time, the whole journey is very clear in my mind.  I can picture a tiny snuggly little newborn.  I can see all of the milestones that we will traverse clearly in my mind.  I am excited for Kylea to be a big sister.  She loves babies, she is naturally very nurturing and gentle and will be an excellent big sister! It's just a long and difficult journey to that point.

this belly is only 13 weeks along.  Look how enormous already!  I am literally trembling to see what the 3rd trimester brings me.

It's a blurry picture, but it very clearly depicts life the way it is right now.  My bed is unmade and a solely diaper clad Kylea is attempting to give me a sandwich.