Mommy Judgement Day

***Written 5/26/12***

I've done a lot of jobs in my life.  I've been a lifeguard, a swimming teacher, I worked in door to door sales in the middle of summer in Phoenix Arizona, fast-food, reception, outdoor laborer college student and more.  Some of those jobs were really, really hard. 

I can remember sitting on the curb somewhere in the vast desert of Phoenix, Arizona after a particularly bad sales day.  I had been yelled at, threatened and had door after door slammed in my face.  It was 120 degrees (NOT lying)  and I had been outside for 9 hours and not made a single sale...meaning I just worked 9 hours for zero dollars.  I was hot, thirsty, homesick and heartsick.  I remember sitting on the curb under what little shade a palm tree offers, crying and crying.  After I had managed to pull myself together a little bit a Schwan delivery man pulled up to the house I was sitting in front of.  He of course noticed me in my pitiful state and presented me with an ice cream as well as some friendly small talk.  Feeling much better, I walked to the next house on the street and made my first sale of the day.  That was a hard day.

Of all the tough jobs I've done and long hours I've pulled by far the toughest job I've had is that of Mother.  I don't have to provide a list to explain why it's hard.  If you have ever had children, seen children or been a child you know EXACTLY why it's tough.  But the thing that makes it most difficult is the judgment and lack of support.  Everyone in the world seems to know how to raise you baby better than you do and they aren't shy to tell you why you stink or are failing at your job. 

In one particular instance, I had to take Kylea with me to an appointment.  It was passed her "wind-down" time and quickly approaching her bedtime.  I had no other options though, I had to bring her with me.  When Kylea gets tired she gets extra hyper and finds herself getting into anything and everything that she shouldn't.  I can tell when I have inadvertently missed her bedtimes because she begins sprinting around the couch while screeching and she laughs at EVERYTHING.  I call it the "sleepy sillies."

Anyway, Kylea was in FULL sleepy silly mode.  She was running me off my feet.  I was trying my best to make the visit meaningful and keep my toddler from wreaking havoc.  The conversation progressed and one woman commented on what a docile temperament another woman's 9 month old child had.  The woman quipped back, "It's got nothing to do with temperament and everything to do with schedules and expectations."  She made sure to look directly at me and the wiggly one year old sitting in my lap.

I smiled, but my heart broke.  I felt shockingly similar to the day that I sat on the curb in Phoenix and cried. only this time, no one would offer ice cream and encouraging words.  This time if things were hard, it was my fault. 

If this teaches me anything. It teaches me that it's my duty to love, support and respect my fellow mothers. We do enough self-shaming lets not pull each other down! 

So, mothers if you are feeling like you have just failed your own mommy judgement day remember this.

You are the perfect mother for your child. 

In your child's eyes you hang the moon. No one loves that sweet child quite the way that you do.