Mommy Glasses

Motherhood, specifically being a mommy to a newborn (since that is what my experience is limited to) means trading in heels for socks, and skirts for sweatpants.  It often means settling for a brush instead of a shower and cold cream of wheat for breakfast.  It means working for a boss who will be the most demanding of your entire life.  He/She will screech at you whenever they experience any discomfort.  You will find yourself relishing bathroom breaks as personal time.  Though don't be surprised if your new taskmaster is lurking somewhere nearby during even this most private of times.  Just yesterday I realized how much my life had changed as a bathroom break involved first dragging the swing into the bathroom and then executing my business with a bright eyed infant and curious dog looking on the whole time.

Being a new mom means you will perform your duties while overcoming one of the greatest physical feats your body has ever accomplished.  Forget about resting, there is no time for rest! You will find yourself bending, lifting and squatting all day, despite the physical discomfort of doing so.  Speaking of your body, it will become absolutely unrecognizable to you. 

There are several things I've learned about the postpartum body; First, nature makes up for Aunt Flo's nine month absence in a big way.  Second, bellies do not instantly disappear just because the baby has been birthed.  Last and probably worst of all, hormones rage causing strange and inexplicable fits of crying. For instance crying can be induced when husband cracks a sarcastic joke.  Causing him to stare at you with wide eyes while awkwardly trying to comfort you by patting your shoulder and saying something like, "Aww.... it ok!  Don't be cry!" And wait til you see what breastfeeding has in store for your boobs.

Motherhood has to be one of the least glamorous jobs on earth. In the last month, I have spent every day all day being puked on, pooped on, and screamed at, all on little more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. 

The human race perpetuates itself because for as long as mankind has existed men and women have embarked on this crazy ride called parenthood, often more than once!  After reading the job description one could rightly wonder, how can this be so?  

The answer is, mommy glasses. What are mommy glasses?  Mommy glasses are similar to rose colored glasses only instead of tinting EVERYTHING in the world a shade of rosy bliss they exclusively effect all things related to your infant.  All of the aforementioned terrible sounding job duties of motherhood are suddenly exciting and wonderful. 

A side effect of mommy glasses is a new dizzying capacity to love. If I had to try and describe this feeling I would say, that it feels like someone gathered up everything warm, fuzzy and loving in the entire world smashed them all into a ball and then stuffed all of it into my heart.  Then there are moments like this....

After one of these gummy little smiles it feels like all the love that was stuffed inside my heart has exploded into little pieces of confetti which rush around and fill up every empty space in my entire body.  Sometimes the little pieces of love fill me up so much that they come flowing out, most of the time in a giant smile but sometimes the overflow is a little more.......watery. 

(classic "mommy glasses" induced overreaction to a cute baby smile)

Mommy glasses cause everything you do for your baby to be an act of love.   Every middle of the night feeding, every diaper change, every load of laundry you do out of love.  Normal people are disgusted by baby's various bodily functions but mommy glasses cause you to cheer your baby when after hours of grunting she finally manages a toot.

Without mommy glasses the human race would cease to exist.  Without them there would be no payoff for parenthood.  I have found that my own pair of mommy glasses have made every single one of Kylea's accomplishments absolutely the most exciting thing in the world.

Like when Kylea discovered she has hands.  Promptly after this discovery she discovered they make an excellent pacifier.

look I have hands!  And they're delicious!!!  

Or the day she discovered the mobile in her swing and then enjoyed 30 min of playtime in her baby gym.

The list goes on including things like the satisfaction I get when she looks into my face with a look of recognition, snugly nap time, singing her songs to get her sleepy, listening to her happy squeals and little giggles.  To me, she is absolutely the most perfect little baby there has ever been.  And I think that's just the way God intended it to be.

this is Kylea getting burped....no wobbly newborn head here!

p.s.
Daddy's have their own form of mommy glasses too.