Silly Woo

Gotta pay it forward to one in my life who always makes me smile, my dog Tekoa. Today I was making breakfast and he was VERY interested. He wandered around the kitchen with me politely sitting next to me and staring up with his bright blue soulful eyes, I could just hear him saying, "please, I'm so hungry I just want a nibble." Which by the way, is ridiculous because he had scarfed his breakfast just mere minutes before I started making mine.

I resisted his cuteness and continued making my breakfast and he eventually walked out of the kitchen. I thought he gave up on begging but not so......

Instead of giving up he just repositioned himself, he wandered over to my chair in the dining room and sat right next to it waiting for me to sit down and start eating. I laughed, he's so patient and also naughty!

It just got me thinking what would we do without this lovable ball of fluff in our lives? It was a definite improvement to my day, thanks again "Woo-Woo."

Natural vs Medicated

Question of the day, natural or medicated childbirth? The decision time has come, it’s time to sign up for childbirthing classes and it has left me with the tough decision of which one to sign up for. Should I do the regular childbirth class for mothers who will most likely choose a medicated labor, the natural birth option which covers several different options for coping with natural childbirth, or the hypnobirth class which focuses on the specific technique of hypnobirthing to cope with childbirth.

I had never even considered natural childbirth prior to getting pregnant, I always just thought why suffer in pain when there are medications that can make it painless? But as I have learned more facts and gained some more insight I’m beginning to see the benefit of having this baby naturally.

Here is a short list of some benefits of natural childbirth that I have found;

1. Mothers who labor naturally can move freely, go to the bathroom, walk and change positions throughout labor. According to the Cochrane Review, recent studies have shown that getting medication makes changing positions even after birth more difficult.

2. Since you can feel your body's reflexes in natural childbirth, mothers can push better and generally faster. In fact studies show that getting an epidural prolongs your pushing time.

3. The pain during labor serves a purpose by guiding the mother to seek certain positions. For example, if her back hurts, she will naturally seek positions off her back which can help to turn her baby. Having back pain is one sign that the baby might be posterior and needs to rotate.

4. Mothers often describe that their recovery after a natural childbirth was faster and easier since they could get right up and walk and shower. Usually they eat right away and their appetite is normal. (a plus since the pain killers for my wisdom teeth made me violently ill)

5. Endorphins secreted during a natural childbirth have been found in the placenta and umbilical cord. This may serve a purpose to help the baby adjust to life outside as well as make the journey more comfortable for baby.

6. Research has shown that in mothers who have natural childbirth, babies are more alert and show more interest in pre-breast feeding behaviors such as sucking, as well as the actual length of time they spend nursing within the first 90 minutes.

That is a pretty convincing list of arguments! All of which I had never previously considered.

Here’s a list of reasons to have a medicated labor;

1. Mothers who are having a very long labor can benefit from using pain medication to get some rest before the pushing stage.

2. If the mother is tensing up during contractions, pain medication can help her relax so that her body is not fighting against the labor.

3. If the mother has a lot of fear about birth or issues from her past, it may affect the progress of her labor. At times, medication may help to ease her anxiety.

Also, a good reasons to have a medicated labor. But it seems that the evidence supports opting for a natural childbirth initially and if it carries on for to long to resort to medication.

So that decision is made now, which method do I use to cope with the labor? It’s a very difficult decision. I had no idea how many options there are out there associated with everything related to children and babies. And there seems to be no right answer, it’s simply a matter of preference. So I suppose I’ll just have to put my mind to work on this problem and search out which method fits me and my needs the best.

Holly Homemaker

Last night I went over to a friend's house to try my hand at making bows for baby girls. You know the adorable little headbands that you see infants wearing, apparently people make bows to match specific outfits that they have bought for their little ones....imagine that!

Before I explain how the bow making went I need to share a story of little Paula. When I was still a little elementary schooler the school required us to take time once a week to go to art class. Yes children, there was once a day when public schools funded the arts! Well, we had several projects that we were supposed to make over the semester and I would eagerly dive into each one and would anxiously work envisioning the masterpiece I would create. The problem was, when I nearly finished the projects every time they looked AWEFUL, I would stare down at the mess I had created, decide that it would not get an "A" and then I would start over again. It got so ridiculous that before long I was WAY behind the other kids and my poor art teacher had to take me aside and explain to me that I since I had turned in no projects I currently had an "F" in art. Even as an elementary schooler I was an overachiever, so hearing I had an "F" in art was the WORST news ever. So to catch up I spent several recesses inside finishing art projects, boiling about how stupid art was.

Fast forward to now, to a group of young mothers and "mothers to be" all gathered together to make bows for their daughters or daughters on the way. The good news is I made a couple pretty cute little bows which I'm super excited to have my baby wear when she arrives. The bad news is, everyone else was able to finish at least 17 in the time it took me to make those two, and theirs were much more elaborate. But, older and wiser Paula knows that you can't compare yourself to others so I remain very pleased with my accomplishment.

See, pretty cute right?

This one I can't claim because someone else made it for me, but I got to take it home

The good thing is that I didn't leave this art project feeling like I hate crafts and art with a passion, I want to make some more! And, it sparked a desire to go shopping for cute little outfits that I can make bows for now. So my plan is the next free moment I get to head over to Joann Fabric to buy the other necessary materials like a glue gun and alligator clips and get to work crafting. I'm still not Holly Homemaker but it was good to see another side to myself and discover a domestic hobby I can really get in to.

Blessed

This will be more of a personal entry because I have a lot on my mind. Last night I had the opportunity to visit with a woman from my church ward (AKA congregation) I go with another girl from my Ward who I call my companion to visit about 5 other women from the ward once a month and we call this visit teaching. It’s a way for the women of the ward to get to know each other and be aware of what is going on in each other’s lives.
Last night when my companion and I arrived at this particular woman’s home everything was in shambles and it looked as though she was in the middle of a move. She admitted that she and her family are moving this Saturday because they can no longer afford rent for the apartment. Her husband was diagnosed with cancer about 5 months ago. He has undergone one bout of chemo and other treatments and already the family (who are very poor) is nearly $100,000 in debt with no end to medical bills in sight.

I listened helplessly as this woman shared with me and my companion that she feels she desperately needs counseling to deal with the trials of her past (sexual, physical and emotional abuse from the age of 6 to adulthood from several different men in her life) But given her current finances there is NO way she can afford it. She cried and we cried as she shared that the pain she felt and the belief that it would NEVER leave her. I can’t imagine the tremendous pressure she is under, she is called to support this tremendous financial burden with only a GED and enough emotional baggage to keep her in intense counseling for years.

As a rule I always bring a spiritual thought when I visit these women. Usually the thought comes from a church magazine specially outlined in a mini-lesson format. I was unable to access that article this month because my subscription expired and the website where it is posted was under construction. As I was scrambling around my house looking for a little thought to share Kevin grabbed a piece of paper from his scriptures and handed it to me and said, just take this. Without even looking at it I said, “ok!” and ran out the door to make it to the appointment in time.

When I got into my companion’s car I looked down at the quote to realize it was a blurb on the infinite atonement of Jesus Christ. I thought, “Oh great, this is such a heavy topic it will be difficult to make this work.” But as I listened to this woman talk about a sleepless night she had battling all her personal demons and the intense emotional pain that she feels I realized that this quote was EXACTLY what she needed to hear.

An image of my mom’s favorite painting that she hung in our house when I was a child popped into my mind. It’s a picture of Jesus in a beautiful garden standing by an old wooden door with no handle. The picture was inspired by the scripture in Revelations 3:20 that says “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me” I was able to share with her that when Jesus atoned in the Garden of Gethsemane and that atonement was infinite and applies to ALL people whether they recognize it or not. Also, his atonement is NOT limited to our own sins (which do cause pain) He suffered ALL our pain, the pain of illness, loss, pain that we deal with because of others (abuse) the price has been paid and the Savior waits at the door which YOU have to open. And when you let him in and let the miracle of the Atonement work in your life, the memory of the things that hurt you remains but the pain and anguish that accompany them goes away!

The woman cried and smiled and the feeling of the spirit burst into the room. Those who suffer can feel abandoned by God. Many times I have heard people say if there is a God why is there so much suffering? I know that he is mindful of us. The message I brought to share was an answer to a fervent prayer from this woman, but more than that, it wasn’t something that I myself would have prepared. We spent 2 hours at this woman’s house last night, I know we were supposed to be there as an answer to a prayer. We listened to her, we cried with her and we were able to share a message of hope to keep her going. The Lord never leaves you alone, he is ALWAYS aware of you and your needs.

I am continually amazed at the daily miracles I get to experience. And the added understanding that the life I live is extremely blessed. I was blessed with parents who loved me and provided a humble yet loving home for me as a child. Parents who inspired me to reach for my dreams and said, why not you? I was blessed to be able to obtain a college education that will allow me to provide for both the needs and wants of my family and me. I am blessed with a husband who loves me and treats me with the love and respect I deserve, who is also dedicated to education and hard work. I am blessed with a baby who seems to be healthy, and I am grateful for the ability I have to have my own children. And finally I am blessed with the knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ which has helped me make it through some of the most difficult times and decisions in my life and which I whole heartedly believe is the reason I am so blessed today.

Bittersweet Symphony

After 6 years of being at the grind stone I finally was able to participate in graduation exercises. The feeling is amazing! I welled up with tears as the speakers referenced the great things that we will do now that we are graduates and the responsibility we have to society to now share what we have learned to make the world a better place. This is EXACTLY where I wanted to be....sort of.

Technically I am not completely done. So at 5 months (22 weeks) pregnant I embark on my last semester ever so that I can officially earn that diploma. Sure it will be hard, no one knows that better than me, but it won't be impossible. Once my little one arrives I believe for me it would be nearly impossible to finish any classes at all. So I'll keep my nose to the grindstone and enjoy this little victory and allow it to sustain me through the next few months.

I loved being able to see my family, even though we were missing Geoff.

And of course Kevin was there to support me and cheer me on.

Is he not the cutest ever!

I have a lot to be grateful for. My cup runneth over as they say and I'm looking forward to a great summer even if it does involve lots of hard work and studying.

Sweet Child of Mine

I just got back from my appointment with the ultrasound tech and…..it’s a baby Girl! I just have to say that requiring a pregnant woman to consume 32 ounces of water immediately prior to pushing and prodding around her stomach for an hour is pure torture! Yes ma’am I have always dreamed of peeing my pants, please continue jabbing my bladder with that machine!

I have been looking forward to this appointment not just because I was curious if my little “shim” was a she or a he but because I have been plagued for weeks with dreams of my baby being horribly deformed because of me. In one particular dream a haughty ultrasound tech pushes the wand into my swollen stomach to reveal an image of a deformed baby and then declares, “Your baby’s brain is not fully formed because you didn’t drink enough water ma-ma.” Then later on in the ultrasound she yells out, “Look at those deformed feet! That’s because of the ham sandwich you insisted on eating! Didn’t read about listerosis?” Of course I’m horrified exclaiming things like, “But I DID drink a lot of water!” or “It was just ONE sandwich!”

I have no question where these nightmares originated, have you read half the warnings they give pregnant women? Drink lots of water but don’t hold your pee too long, don’t eat anything off this mile long list, do eat these extremely obscure food items like wheat germ (meh?), eat fish it’s good for you, no don’t eat fish there are trace amounts of mercury in it. Do exercise but not too much. These rules as contradictory as they are, are absolutely inarguably inflexible, people don’t mess around! You know you’re pregnant when someone shoots you the evil eye for enjoying a piece of cheese before disgustedly asking if you are SURE that is pasteurized.

My rant aside, I was so hyped up with the tales of all that could go wrong that by the time I got to the ultrasound table I was violently shaking with nerves. Kevin touched my arm to see if I was cold and when he felt my warm skin he just looked at me oddly. So it was an enormous relief to hear, it’s a baby girl, she’s got a strong heart, she has all her bones, her brain is well formed, her pallet is not cleft, her feet are normal….she’s healthy! I’ve never felt such sweet relief, all I could think was I did it! I got her this far and now I feel confident I can get her the rest of the way into this world as a healthy fully functioning human being. We’re already halfway there little baby!

After putting my fears to rest came the fun part, getting to see the 3-d images and 4-d footage of my little girl. I can’t describe the feeling of looking at such a precious little thing drinking, getting the hiccups, sucking her thumb, holding onto her big toe and nuzzling her little face into the comforting walls of the uterus she currently calls home. I got to take home a disc of ultrasound images and footage and I am mesmerized by her little face. Look what we have made, she is beautiful!

The ultrasound was an awesome experience. It completely replaced my doubt and anxiety with love and excitement. Also, it made this baby (who I still can’t feel) come to life for me and my husband. Now I just can’t wait to meet my little baby, but not yet…. not yet.

We're having a Baby!!

How is it that one little word can have such a dramatic impact on our lives? Think how it feels to be told you are loved.  There's one word that can change your life forever, the word "pregnant." After lots of planning and talking we decided in August that we would "take out the goalie" so to speak and let nature increase our family.


Month after month when I thought I had waited long enough for nature's sign that there is no baby a brewing I would grow restless and impatient and I would rush to the store to purchase pregnancy tests, speed home, take them immediately and then stand in the bathroom waiting on pins and needles for the response. The whole time thinking, "am I REALLY ready for this?" Only to be somewhat relieved to see that for at least one more month I was "not pregnant."


By February I had become so bored with my regular routine that I took the test and left it on the counter for a good half hour before nonchalantly returning to see my results. Much to my amazement the little test read, "pregnant." I blinked, blinked again, rubbed my eyes and stared.  The shock of the moment finally struck me and a few tears squeezed out. Not knowing whether to believe it, I took the second test in the box waited on pins and needles for the result of "pregnant" to show up once again.  The little video above was my way of announcing to Kevin that we were on the journey to parenthood. He watched it, smiled (I thought I even saw a tear glisten in his eye) and said, "well I guess we'll have to start budgeting a lot better."


Doctors, and the constant nauseating ache in my stomach, confirm that there is a little human growing in there. Actually, the fact that I'm pregnant explains a lot. I spent the better part of our cruise either thinking I was sea sick or havinga reaction to the food.  I guess I will have to try escargot another time.....like when I am not pregnant. It also explains why the very sight of chicken noodle soup (usually my favorite) makes me want to lose my lunch on the spot and various other changes. Little baby, you're a trouble maker for me already!