Kylea Lately

Life with Kylea Lately:

Is a musical.  She musically narrates everything we do.  Today during breakfast she danced around my legs singing, "Mommy make da eggy! Foodies, foodies for Ky-ky!" over and over again.  

Is adventurous.  She's curious and quick to learn and repeat anything she sees or hears. "What that?!"  is a common question around here.

Is proper.....sort of.  She's very polite, whenever she toots she quickly follows it with a gasp and says, "Sorry, poo-poo!"  I have no idea where she got that from.  It's a Kylea original!

Is filled with preschool shows.  We watch Dora, Diego, WonderPets and Sesame street.  My favorite is her impression of Swiper the Fox from Dora. She swings her arm just like Swiper and declares, "Ohhhh man!" whenever things don't go her way.

Is a dance party.  She LOVES to dance and whenever a chance arrives she excitedly shouts, "Shake your booty!"  and grabs our hands to have us join her in dance party.  Dance parties aren't resevered for just times when we play music.  They occur during musical selections of any tv show, movie or commercial, department store, convenience store.... anywhere!

Is full of love.  She gives great hugs and kisses and is becoming very clear who she is attached to.  Tekoa has had to visit the vet a few times the last couple months because of an injured paw, every time we had to wait while he went back to the exam room her little eyes filled with tears, her lip quivers and she heartbrokenly cries out for her,  "woo-woo"  It's such a heartbreaking performance she won a "backstage pass" to the medical room in the veterinary office, where she got to meet the vet's personal dog, and all the vet techs and observe Tekoa's procedure, a very special privilege indeed.

Is a fashion show.  She only leaves the house in what SHE thinks is most fashionable.  Today's ensemble was a tutu worn over her regular clothes, her fancy church coat and pink cowboy boots.  Who can deny her when she declares herself to be a "beautiful princess!"

She adores strawberries and single handedly polished off an entire box of them in just a couple short days.  She very politely requests, "strawbs pwease" for every snack and meal whenever they are in the house.

Is chatty.  She LOVES to have good conversations and eats up moments when I sit on her level and stare directly into her face she excitedly chatters about horses and dragons and princesses and monkeys and babies and all her favorite things.

Is empathetic.  She is always the first little kid in play group to ask, "you ok?!"  When someone falls over or begins to cry.

Is cold-a-phobic.  She must be my daughter or something.....she does NOT like to be cold.  She loves the idea of snow and begs to go play, but the second she starts to feel a little cold she howls and whimpers until we retreat back indoors and warm her up.  This generally takes only minutes before it occurs.  She fought me at the beginning of winter every time I asked her to put on a coat now she quickly complies all the while saying, "brrrr, cold!"

Is a water game.  Every shower that is started in this house inevitably is joined by a certain water-loving two year old.  She can get nakey in a flash, it's kind of amazing actually. 

Is one giant game of tag.  Kylea LOVES to get a good game of tag going.  She will bait one parent into chasing her, then run to the arms of the other parent laughing and giggling the whole way.

In a word, life with Kylea lately is a 

Joy.

We are so lucky she's ours.

Resolve: Rejoice in Simplicity

Have you ever sat and watched the sun set?

http://shareyourwallpapers.com/nature/sunset/show/24306/

I have. 

One of the best summers of my life, I spent in Phoenix, doing one of the worst jobs I have ever had.  The best part was every evening at sunset I would take a break sit on the curb and drink in nature’s beauty.

Have you ever sat under a starry sky?

http://ihaveavoicetoo.com/127-the-night-sky/

I have.  

On warm summer nights, my brothers and I would grab our sleeping bags and sleep under the starry sky.  We woke the next morning to the warm summer morning sun in our faces.

Have you sat on a quiet beach near the ocean?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Pacific_Ocean_At_Acapulco_1.jpg

I have.  

I can vividly remember sitting on a log near the waves of the Pacific, as a 17 year breathing the salty fresh air and feeling the cool spray of the ocean on my face, digging my toes into the cold sand and being wonderfully present in the moment.

Have you looked into the eyes of your true love? Did you know that your love would last for eternity?

I have. 

It's unparalleled

Have you ever experienced this moment?

I have. 

I’ve seen an angel.  Held her in my arms.  We went from a couple, to a family.  There is real magic in this memory.

Have you felt a little life kick around in your belly and marveled at your divine capacity to nurture human life?

I have. 

I love that Heavenly Father has given me the chance to do it twice.  What a blessing!

Why am I rehashing all these moments in yet another overly sappy blog post?  All these magical moments have something in common…

Simplicity.

None of these gems cost a penny. Oscar Wilde once said, 

“Simplicity is beauty and beauty is simplicity, nothing more and nothings less.”

I’ve been living out this “trial” of our finances for the last couple of years, waiting for the day when education and preparation pay off.  All the while, I have forgotten to take joy in the simplicity of my life the way it is right NOW. 

It doesn’t take a penny to put on music and dance around like rock-stars.  I will cherish that memory more than 1,000 trips to Disneyland.  It’s simplistic beauty, the blossoming of family love and little personality.

There really is true beauty in simplicity.  Being “poor” just gives us an opportunity to revel in that simplicity.  We get to explore the depths of our creativity and we get to marvel at EVERYTHING the world has to offer.

I recently stumbled across a blog (http://andthenwesaved.com/about-the-spending-fast/) where the author decided to go on a "spending fast" so she could pay off debt.  She eliminated ALL spending that wasn't essential to her survival (including make-up....brave gal!) She eliminated all of her debt in 15 months while making only $33,000 a year.

We’re already on somewhat of a spending fast, so that I can stay at home with our little girl.  But it felt involuntary, we felt sorry for ourselves every time we had to say, “sorry, we can’t afford it.”  And to be totally honest, we haven’t been great at saying “No.”  And we have a LONG list of "wants' we jokingly refer to as "the list".

Guess what?  I’m DONE feeling sorry for us, it’s miserable.  I resolve this year to live more simply, to want less and be happier. 

How will we do this? We aren’t going to eat out more than a handful of times.  We’re not traveling even though we could probably scrap up the money to do so.  The money can be put to better use. And we'll designate a purpose for all the dollars that come into our bank account.  If a "want" arises that can't be covered by our budget we'll just say matter of factly (without feeling sorry for ourselves) there is no money for that, what should we do instead?

By the end, I hope to have shaken that monkey (called student debt) off our back and gathered hundreds of memories of starry nights, vivid sunsets, little giggles, rock-star performances, $30 Christmases, handmade gifts and all sorts of treasures of the like. 

If by this time next year we aren’t making any more money than we are today, I hope that I have perfected the art of simplicity to a point where i'm not bothered by that fact.

“I have just 3 things to teach: 

-simplicity, 

-patience, 

-compassion.  

These three are your greatest treasures.” 

– Lao Tzu

By the end of this, I hope to have cultivated all 3 of Lao Tzu's treasures.  And cultivate them with grace, not while kicking and screaming. I’m really looking forward to 2013!

Videos from Christmas 2012

If you get these by e-mail you will probably have to click this link here to watch them.

This first one, is Kylea on Christmas Eve with her gingerbread house.

This next one, is Kylea's reaction to Christmas morning.  I probably should have added subtitles because it's hard to hear what she is saying (she was still a little sleepy but VERY excited).  

Christmas Break 2012

Christmas with a toddler is MAGIC!  Seriously, so much fun talking about Santa and his reindeer and more importantly baby Jesus and Mary and Joseph....I'm pretty sure she was more interested in the sheep that are inevitably present in the story but, it's progress none the less!

This picture is purely for my vanity.  I spent most of Christmas baking and wrapping and playing with Kylea and it SHOWS in the photos....I look terrible.   So here is me looking not so terrible. There.

 Kevin was able to take off 2 weeks this year!  We have really enjoyed having him home to participate in our adventures and Kylea has REALLY loved it, Daddy is a good sport.   Here he is as a human table.  Every time she added something new to his back, Kylea would cackle and say, "I did it!"

We stopped by hangtime sports in Lehi which I HIGHLY recommend to anyone and everyone.  It's basically a room filled with trampolines and obstacles for kids to run, climb and jump on.  Kylea had a BLAST! And....it's only $4 for 30 min. which was plenty for our 2 year old.

 Happy girl in the foam pit

 After we were done jumping around we wandered around the rest of the sports complex and Kylea and Daddy shot some hoops together.

 Watching football with Daddy and eating a cookie.

 Watching The Grinch with Daddy and eating popcorn.

On Christmas Eve we made our own pizza and Kylea decorated (aka gobbled it up as fast as she could) a gingerbread house.

 Then, we opened a couple Christmas Eve presents...

 she was hilarious when she opened this one up.  She gasped loudly and exclaimed, "A MOOMIE (movie) for Ky-Ky!!!!"

She also go to open a book which she carefully flipped through before tossing it aside and requesting we watch her new movie.

Christmas morning started off bright and early.  We were up by 5:45 and in the kitchen making our traditional Christmas breakfast of tea roll!

Kylea was big enough this year that she could help which she LOVED.

She helped roll the balls of dough.

 And then plopped them in the pan.

But her specialty is taste tester.  She declared raw biscuit dough to be, "delicious!"

She could barely wait for prayer to be over so she could eat some tea roll!

   Then of course presents!!!

 This had to be her favorite present of all....

 a tea set!

After the tea set she was done unwrapping presents (though she still had a few left) and wanted to sit at her new table and play tea party....or as she calls it, "soup!"

ND national championship shirt!  Let's go Irish!!

We played tea party for the rest of the day.

GG always send the prettiest clothes.  This outfit was by far Kylea's favorite, she calls it princess dress and it makes her feel VERY princessey and beautiful.  She decided her toes weren't princessey enough so she pestered Daddy to paint them until he did.  She spent the next little while dancing circles in the living room while singing an improvised princess song.

BEST. CHRISTMAS. EVER!

Making a Mark on the World

***Warning- this post contains loads and loads of rambling, sappiness.  Proceed at your own risk**

I'm battling a bad attitude today.  Kylea was up from 12am-4am.  What's that you say?  Boo-hoo?  Kids have bad nights? Yes they do.  This has been ongoing though for the last month she's been waking up for large chunks of time during the night, every single night.  It's because she's been sick, sick, sick.  Times like these I want to go back in time and smack that 20 something I-know-everything-because-I-lack-life-experience-to-know-I-don't-know-anything, me in the face for saying things like, "Sorry, but stay-at-home Mom isn't work at all." Oh really, know-it-all?  You think you are SO busy, don't you?  You think you know what it's like to be tired?  You think you know what it's like to be frustrated?  In time you will see, these experiences are just a tip of the iceberg of what's to come.

I'm tired, and losing my normal long suffering patience. All I can think is, poor me.  I'm pregnant and SO tired and feeling chunky and there's laundry to fold and the kid is cranky and the bills are calling, blah, blah, blah.

Life, it can really get you down sometimes!  There's only one cure for a bad attitude, and it's gratitude!  So while Kylea naps (hopefully for a while longer) I'm just going to sit here and banish all the negativity that's engulfing me.  With a little reflection on why my life is so great.

I'm grateful I get to be a Mommy.  I didn't think I wanted to be a parent.  I saw tears and boogers and weekends spent at home and mom-jeans and thought, nope that's not for me.  So I went to college to become a physical therapist and make lots and lots of money and maybe work in scientific research and development.  I wanted to do something important, I wanted to make my mark on the world.

Then I met this man.  This handsome, funny, charming man and it wasn't long before I couldn't picture living a single day of my life without him.  He must have felt the same because one day (right around this time of year) he got down on his knee with a bouquet of my favorite flowers and my favorite temple with the MOST gorgeous ring and asked me to be his for time and all eternity.

A beautiful dress and even more beautiful wedding occurred.  We spent a couple of years helping each other through college, becoming experts at mario kart wii, making friends, making memories and growing in our relationship.

Then along came a baby.  She brought more joy, love, pride and challenge than we had ever known.  For me, it meant a major shift in career as I switched from "professional-woman-in-the-making" to Mommy.  It meant battling a truckload of emotions I never knew I could experience.  Some of them were better than ever, lots were harder than I ever imagined.

I LOVE being a Mommy.  I never knew I would love it so much.  I LOVE being a stay-at-home-mom.  I love being there for every smile, every giggle, every milestone.  I also love that I get to be there for every temper tantrum, runny nose, upset tummy, long night and meltdown that comes along.  In fact, when I really think about it, I'm most glad for those not so nice moments.  Those are the times where creativity comes in.  That is where I problem solve.  That is where I get to step outside of my emotional reaction to things and say, "I'm raising a human being what can I do to make her a good one?"  It's the challenging days that make me a more compassionate, loving and patient human being.  It's the challenging moments that I get to show my little one that I love her and support her through whatever she is going through.

Sometimes that means sitting in the quiet dark for HOURS in the middle of the night for many consecutive nights while she sniffles and coughs and babbles about horses and princesses and stars and Santa and baby Jesus and holding her when she cries out.  It means stroking her hair 'til her labored breathing turns to tiny snores and I can finally crumple in a heap until she wakes and we do the whole thing all over again.

All I ever wanted was to make my mark on the world.  All I ever wanted was to make a difference.  Now I know that THIS is my way.  No one will ever read about my scientific discovery in a text but my contribution IS important.  This child is my mark on the world.  If I can raise my children in love and firm testimony of their Savior Jesus Christ then I AM important.  My influence can last generations.  I always thought motherhood wasn't important enough for me, and now I realize it's importance and hope that I am up to the task.  I'm grateful that I've educated myself spiritually and secularly and eternally grateful that I can draw on that education to help me navigate the choppy waters of parenthood.  I'm grateful that I chose such a wonderful loving man to be my companion through this journey.  He's my best friend.

Motherhood is hard.  It's the hardest job I've ever had but I can't think of anything I would rather be doing.

Mathematics

I've never been very good at math.  I guess that's not entirely true. I've always gotten good grades in mathematics, but it's because I worked my bum off night after night slaving over understanding those crazy number thingys.  Inevitably, after studying and struggling for days with a mathematical concept that I was beginning to feel I was incapable of solving, a lightbulb would flip on in my brain and the problems got easier.  So, math wasn't impossible for me, it just didn't come quickly or easily.

In light of that information, I guess it's no surprise that I've been struggling over a certain mathematics issue for weeks now until FINALLY the lightbulb flipped on and the answer dawned on me.

Let me start at the beginning.  A couple of months ago we  found out we were expecting baby number two.  We leaped for joy, praised Heavenly Father and I immediately set out planning and preparing for our second baby.  And then it happened, that sickly, tired stage of pregnancy set in.  I spent my days trudging after Kylea trying to keep up and usually failing miserably.  We watched lots of movies and ate lots of quick and not so nutritious foods.  Whilst in the throughs of this I realized something.  It's not going to get better when the baby comes.  Nope, I'm going to be exhausted, hormonal and physically healing for at least a month maybe two. And then once that is over, I will still have to divide my attention and love between TWO children.  Some days it's all I can do to keep up with one. How will that work?  How will this impact my ability to be a good wife to Kevin? And how will that be fair to my beloved Kylea?

When Kylea was born, I was instantly smitten. I was filled with a measure of love that I didn't even know was possible.  As she's grown, my love for her has grown as well.  I've gotten to know her personality.  We've baked cookies, read stories, snuggled under blankies while watching movies, laughed together and cried together.  For two years she's been the complete epicenter of my universe.  The idea of dividing my love and attention from her didn't feel fair and my heart has been aching over it for weeks now.  At the same time,  I realize that another one of Heavenly Father's precious children is being entrusted to my care and I want to be able to give her everything that Kylea had.  It just wouldn't be fair if I didn't.  But how is would it be possible?  I'm just one, very imperfect person.

The answer came on a cold November evening when I lay on the exam table anxiously awaiting the results of the never-ending ultrasound.   The ultrasound tech furrowed his brow and leaned forward, and pressed the ultrasound wand harder into my pregnant belly.  Each time he did Kevin and I would say, "what? what are you looking at?  Is everything ok?"  Then I would crane my neck in an attempt to see the screen.  "what?" he would reply, "oh, yes, everything is fine, just fine, looking very good this little one."  We waited anxiously as piece by piece the baby was examined until finally at the end he announced, "It's a girl!  See, there are her girl parts!" Then he handed me a handful of photos to document our first encounter with our new little girl.

"Another girl."  I thought, as I absently thumbed through the ultrasound photos.  Then I happened across this photo.




I stared at this image until I saw it, a perfect little mouth, nose and chin.....my baby!  Suddenly, into my mind's eye flashed images of my little infant Kylea.  I could see her snuggled against my chest after a nice long nursing session sucking on her bottom lip and sleeping peacefully.  I felt the rush of love sweep over me as I remembered what it was like to stroke her little cheek as she slept.  Then the image shifted, now it was another sweet baby, MY baby.  All at once I wasn't afraid anymore.  In fact, I couldn't wait to do it all again.  Through God's grace I was able to transition from the idea of having another baby (which was unknown and scary) to the reality of having OUR next little girl in our arms.

 It was in that moment of love and clarity that it occurred to me that I've been thinking about this problem all wrong!  Having another child isn't about division of time and love, it's multiplication! It figures, I mixed up the operation. I can feel love and tenderness for both of my children equally because there is NO limit to the human capacity to give and receive love.  Families are divinely designed to expand and so is our capacity to love!

I'm no longer worried about Kevin or Kylea either.  Seeing Kevin be a Daddy has already multiplied my love for him and  two girls will be twice the opportunity for him to parent.  We don't have as much alone time but we enjoy our family time and cherish our alone time just that much more!  And Kylea is going to LOVE her sister, I just know it!  She will have someone to run and play with, someone to play princesses with, braid hair, share clothes, gossip about boys and argue over silly girl things.  What a blessing it will be to her to learn about sibling love and cooperation. I anticipate a multiplication of love all around!

Someday, several year down the road, I anticipate sitting with my girls at the table as they work on their math homework and inevitably the question will be raised, "When am I EVER going to use this stuff, Mom?!"  I'll just smile and say, "Study hard sweetie, you will be surprised when mathematics come in handy!"