Grow UP

When did it happen?  When did I start showing signs of being old?  Just a few days ago I had to smile and nod when  pop culture reference came up and then hurry home and google it just to find out what in the world they were talking about. I used to be the popular culture guru.  I could tell you who was dating who, what was cool and why, what was hot and what was not.  Now, in addition to being stumped by popular culture trivia, some of the latest fashions just look weird to me.  I can't say I was always the most fashionable dresser (we never had money for that stuff growing up) but I always knew what was fashionable and longed to be able to wear it.  And even though it really isn't old, I'm turning 26 in a month.

this is cool now?  Really? I would rather be forced into public in my dirty pajamas than any one of these outfits...unless I was attending a costume party (image credit)

Even though the deck is stacked against me; I'm a mother, people call me ma'am, we own our own home, I've graduated college, my knees creek and crackle, and my husband is in his 30's, I still just don't feel... old.  I look in the mirror and see a somewhat older face.  It's still young, but it's lost it's teenage look and is taking on a more stately adult like image.

image credit

I remember dreaming of the things I would do when I grew up and now here I am, all grown up. Or am I?  I still giggle when someone farts.  I'm still afraid of spiders and mascots and even occasionally the dark. There's nothing I like more than a good frolick outdoors and I still have a mile long list of things I want to accomplish, "when I grow up." I've noticed that the people who used to enjoy those things with me are no longer interested, and it makes me sad.

When does it happen?  When do you lose interest in playing in the mud? Or sledding? Or Santa? Or butterflies?  I hope the day never comes.  I hope that the sunsets never cease to take my breath away.  I hope that the stars always make me contemplate the universe in it's infinite wonder. I hope that I never lose hope in the good of human kind.  I hope that puppies with their sloppy tongues and prickly teeth always elicit a squeal of glee from me.  I hope that I never really grow up.