Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Advice for the Undergraduate


A young college undergraduate recently asked me if a college education was really worth it anymore.  After all, my friend reasoned, the market is saturated with college graduates and many of those graduates are working menial jobs.  My friend said there was research to back his arguments and those researchers claimed debt incurred negated success achieved later.  They also claim a college degree is basically null in the current market.  I considered these arguments in depth and decided that they are based on granules of truth but lack an alternate route to success and any real message except "give up".  I find this message damaging and pessimistic, I hope to dig out the real answer to this dilemma.  So I’m about to put on my Dr. Laura hat and offer my opinion (as a recent college grad) of the value of higher education. 

I will concur that there was a time when a college education was a golden ticket to a high paying job.  Graduates could wave their diploma around and step into high paying management type jobs.  It is true that today that much labored for piece of paper doesn’t carry as much weight.  Employers will look at a degree and say that’s nice, we’re looking for a degree plus 5 years experience.  Let’s look at why this is the case. 

According to the Bureau of Labor and Statistics, in the month of July alone there were 143,703 separations.  During the previous year over 500,000 separations were reported.  Simple math dictates that this year’s rate is double the previous year’s with projections of over one million separations predicted by year’s end. 

These separations mean that there are literally hundreds of thousands of workers with education AND experience currently searching for jobs.  Economists say that, “College graduates entering the job market in 2009 and early 2010 will face more competition than we’ve seen since the Great Depression.”

The market IS saturated with college graduates, which is why it is more imperative than EVER to obtain an education.  I believe that many college students are approaching their education with an outdated attitude.  They expect to achieve success in life by obtaining their degree.  They show up to class, get good grades, and work a part-time dead end job just to pay bills.  Still more chose not to work at all and focus on just school alone.

College is 100% what you put into it.  It is not unreasonable to say that you can graduate with a degree AND applicable job experience.  Is the road easy? NO!  Will it be worth it? YES!  If I could offer a few pieces of advice to my young friend it would be this; limit debt incurred from student loans, develop a strong network while in school, and obtain applicable work experience while in school.

While it may take some extra work and ambition it is not impossible to obtain scholarships and work for most of your tuition.  Common advice when I was entering college was, get a student loan to pay for all expenses and focus on good grades.  I did this and ended up incurring a substantial debt because of it.  I will probably spend the rest of my adult life trying to pay it off.  Some debt will be necessary but my advice would be to seek options that will cost you the least while still offering a quality education.  Strategies to limit debt incurred from education are endless.

Next, develop a large and diverse network while in college.  That slippery haired biology professor with the strange research fascination with hermaphroditic amphibians is also a published and respected scientist.  Yes, he’s creepy but a referral from him could greatly improve your chances of getting into med school or open doors to lucrative careers you had never previously considered.   Remember that old saying “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”  Don’t be fooled into thinking that good grades are good enough, they’re not.

And lastly start NOW by building your work experience.  This is a transient and opportune time of life.  Seek out opportunities for employment in a field closely related to where you want to eventually go.  Many companies offer tuition reimbursement as part of their benefits package, so you can accrue applicable experience and fund your education with on fell swoop.  Remember that not all resume-building experiences are paid opportunities, search out volunteer opportunities, internships, set up job shadows and find a current professional willing to mentor you.  Get to know professionals working in your career of interest, connections you make now will open doors for career opportunities later. 

The current economic climate has made higher education a necessity instead of a golden ticket.  Consider your education as an important ingredient in the recipe of success.    Unemployment rates are staggering, and are continuing to trend upward. My advice would be to afford yourself every opportunity for success possible by pursuing and achieving a higher education.  

Friday, September 3, 2010

Evolution of the Baby Bump

Trimester Number ONE

8 weeks along.  Feeling a little nauseous but didn't know it was because I was pregnant!


we're having a baby!



10 weeks....still not too obvious yet.

Trimester Number TWO

baby at 19 weeks, my stomach looked very similar to the 10 week pic.



after long hiatus from belly pics. here it is at 24 weeks!




25 weeks 

Trimester Number THREE

28 weeks



32 weeks



37 weeks and 5 days... technically full term!!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Birth Day

This monday was a special day, because it was the day that it was officially safe to have the baby!  I don't think I've looked forward to anything more in my entire life.  I feel like a kid trying to sleep on Christmas Eve. How can I when SANTA is coming?!

When I wake up to baby's kicks and wiggles I say, "Good morning little one, today could be your birthday! Come on out!"  It seems like she is listening because on Saturday she "dropped".  This just means that the baby drops down into the pelvis signaling the body's preparation for labor and birth.  The doctor said he wouldn't be surprised to see her within the next two weeks. 

I can only describe myself this week as having tunnel vision.  I'm completely focused on birth and the day we get to meet our little one.  I'm surely driving everyone around me insane with my constant banter about labor and birth.  But it's an exciting time for us and my body has had about all it can take of pregnancy now.  I'm still hanging in there though and trying to remember that when the time is right, the baby will come.


As you all know I am choosing to have a natural birth using HypnoBirthing techniques.  An important part of a HypnoBirth is releasing fear and staying calm and relaxed during the birthing process.   I have found that watching a video which I originally saw in my birthing class of a woman birthing her child through hypnobirth has helped ease whatever anxiety I have had about birthing naturally.

I really believe that we need to start removing the negative connotations surrounding birthing and replace them with the reality that birth can be a physically challenging yet still positive experience.  For that reason I have attached the video.  


*****WARING******  This is a real live birth so be aware of that before you click on the link.  If I had to rate this clip I would rate it pg-13 only because she breastfeeds her infant after it's born and you get a full view of that.  That is the ONLY nudity in the clip though.  If you have been curious about how I'm going to make it through birth without an epidural watch this video, it will change your life!  Keep in mind that during the entire clip this woman is in the stage where most Hollywood movies portray women screaming and throwing things because of  how much pain they're experiencing.  See how calmly and serenely she manages the "pushing" stage, INCREDIBLE!


Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Sweet Dreams?


Bedtime used to be a magical time for me.  It was the time when the relief of head on pillow meant a restful night spent in the sweet release of my dreams.  Snuggled into the crook of my husband’s arm I spent the night being untethered by earthly bounds like gravity, fashion, disappointments or whatever.    To put it quite simply, I love bedtime!  I found this poem that reflects how I used to feel about bedtime.

Dream with me
Author: unknown
Dream with me
Dream with me
Cuddle up asleep
Bedtime is a magical time
Dream with me asleep

Notice the key word, USED to.  My once magical bedtime routine has turned into something more of a nightmare.  Now when I go to bed I amble through my routine with a sore pelvis and slightly puffy feet, hands and face.  I dig like a mad woman through my clothes to find comfortable (not too hot) pj’s that still fit and then proceed through the acrobatics required to change clothes these days.  I then kick the dog off his usual resting spot at the foot of the bed…. though my internal body temperature may feel fine now, I know that any amount of cuddling will cause it rapidly shoot up to what feels like the temperature of explosive hot lava.  Once ample room has been secured, I crawl into bed and begin carefully constructing the necessary pillow architecture around me to sleep.  Pillows are situated under every curve and crook of my body to support me and avoid the achy breathlessness I feel when laying down unsupported.  Now instead of snuggling into the crook of my husband’s arm I groan and flop down into my carefully constructed nest to sleep.  Dear husband crawls gingerly into bed, and leans over my substantial barrier to give me a peck goodnight and then migrates to “his side” of the bed.

I am comfortable for approximately 10 minutes, and then I get an ache.  If I ignore the ache, it grows and grows and grows until suddenly some part of my body is virtually audibly shouting at me to TURN OVER!  This is much easier said than done.  Currently my attempts at flipping over take several tries and when executed closely resemble a beached whale frantically thrashing around in our bed.  This state of affairs continues on, interrupted by frequent trips to the bathroom throughout the entire night until it becomes impossible to sleep.  The transition from attempting to sleep to knowing sleep is impossible happens because apparently sleeping has become such a chore for me that it causes me to become RAVENOUSLY hungry by approximately 4:30 am, which in turn causes the baby to pitch a fit in my belly..... sleep is now impossible. 


Needless to say this insomnia has affected my mental faculties during the day. I have found that though I begin each day bursting with excitement and anticipation and an ambitious “to-do" list, somewhere around mid afternoon I completely run out of steam and end up crash landing somewhere around the house for a nap.  I don’t really like naps; I consider them to be the ultimate waste of time (can you tell that I have definitely inherited the western culture’s sense of urgency?) 

I am frustrated by the current state of affairs, so I have rewritten the aforementioned poem, to better suit my new attitude toward bedtime which I fear will not end even after I am no longer pregnant as this means I will then be the mother of a helpless little infant….sigh.

DREAM WITH ME?
-Paula Hart

Longing to Dream
Longing to Dream
Yearning to cuddle up asleep
Bedtime is an exasperating time
Sleeping is a luxury.
Longing to dream, asleep

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Preparation eases Trepidation

I didn't want to become one of "those" people.  You know, the ones who never have anything to say except when it comes to their kids.  It's funny how the twists and turns of life can change your opinions and ambitions.  I have found myself becoming one of "those" people and I'm not even a mom yet.  I eat, drink, sleep and dream  this little baby.

So, if baby bragging is not your cup of tea, discontinue reading this post because it's going to be baby, baby baby!

We have spent the last several months educating ourselves on what we need to do to be good parents.  We have read several books, surfed the internet, talked to doctors, taken a birthing class, and rearranged finances.  I've researched what to eat, how much to exercise and popped gigantic horse sized prenatal vitamin everyday to give my baby the best of everything while she is growing and preparing for her grand entrance.  Everything we have done has been carefully thought out timed and planned.  So I wouldn't consider the decision to become parents an impulse decision or an accident.  But, I still felt unprepared.

If I could name one thing that was bothering me as we drew nearer to a full term baby it was that though we had prepared in many ways we still hadn't purchased any of the real essentials to take care of our baby when she came home.  So, to ease my edgy nerves Kevin suggested we go to the store last weekend and make the final plunge.  We filled our cart with; binky's, bottles, breast-pump, bath tub, bed set, bottle cleaners, baby hygiene kit, diaper bag, changing pads, tiny hangers and more.

Once we got home I was completely excited to get everything situated.  Since my tummy is getting big enough that it is inconvenient to maneuver around the baby's crib I made Kevin help.

smoothing out the creases on baby's sheets

I have to say the finished product makes me very happy.  I took this video immediately after we finished assembling the bedding and mobile.  I have since added some teddy bears and other accessories but it looks basically the same.




Our next biggest thing was the jogging stroller.  I have been a runner for nearly my entire life and would like to get back into it once the baby is born and so a jogging stroller was a necessity.  Thanks to the amazing generosity of my Grandma we were able to get what I consider to be the Mercedes Benz of jogging strollers; the Indie Bumbleride.  I took it out for a practice spin and it was incredible!  It turns corners on a dime, powers over speed bumps and rough terrain and looks terrific doing it.  I can't wait for walks/jogs with baby girl and the dog.  I'm training her young to become my little running buddy.

                                 
Kevin and Tekoa putting the stroller together


It came with the adapter bar so that our car seat can fit into it.  Safe easy ride for baby!


This is the view looking down from the handle bar.  Hi baby!


A blurry picture of Tekoa telling me how excited he is for a baby sister!


Once she gets big enough she can ride without the car seat




ignore messy house....the dog decided to pull out all his toys while he watched us put stroller together


Once of our best accomplishment this weekend though was getting Kevin to clean out his side of the closet so that baby could move her things in.   We donated many things to chartiy and threw out an astonishing amount of things that he had hung onto for these past several years.  



Baby gets this entire rack now!


And the entire bottom rack of the closet.  (Many thanks to the baby shower Grandparents and Great Grandparents that provided these clothes) Because of my obsessive need to organize things, the clothes are sorted by age and type.  Kevin made me take a rest before I got down to organizing them by color.

I have heard that babies actually need surprisingly little.  But, I'm a planner and I just can't say how amazing it feels to have all the things to keep her safe, warm, clean and loved through her infancy.  Now I feel like I can look forward to the day of her birth with the peace that comes from knowing that we have done all that we can to prepare for parenthood.   And maybe I'll think about getting some of that rest everyone keeps telling me to catch up on too!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Looks that can STOP traffic!

Look at this face
Isn't it neat?

Wouldn't you think I'm the girl, who has everything?


Tekoa gets out for a walk every single day, twice a day.  Every time we go out you can bet that there will be at least 2-3 people that compliment us on how awesome or cute or striking our dog is.  Some want to pet him, others mention it as they stick to the far side of the sidewalk.  We're used to him getting compliments.

Yesterday's compliment took the cake though.  Tekoa and I got into the car to make a trip over to UPS to ship some textbooks.  It was a nice day so I decided to roll the windows down and let him sniff out the window. We pulled up to a stop light and suddenly I hear someone yelling out, "excuse me! excuse me!"  I look over to see a man stopped directly next to us in his car (he stopped a full 3 car lengths short of where he should have stopped so that he could be even with us) with his windows rolled down leaning out to yell at me.  "Oh great." I thought in my vanity.  Continuing on in the same line of thought, "I don't want your number....can't you see I'm married AND pregnant?"  As I was debating over whether or not to ignore him the next thing he said made up my mind, "how old is your dog?"  I felt instantly sheepish, silly me!  I'm not the one with the superhuman ability to bring traffic to a stop it's my 15 month old husky!  

The military man in the SUV and I had a nice minute and a half long chat through our windows about my handsome little husky boy before the light changed and traffic moved on.  

Tekoa is a very handsome pup, but what makes him great is his sweet natured personality and hilarious antics.  We call him our "woo-woo" because of the woo-woo sound he frequently makes to "talk" to us. 

Here is a typical saturday morning at the Hart's house.  Tekoa jumps up on the bed for a few scratches and to beg for his morning walk.




Or how about this..... Kevin and Tekoa in training for football season.  Notice how Tekoa only jumps up on "hike!"




There's more to this face than just it's dashing good looks.  Underneath that handsome exterior is the sweetest most loveable little pup there ever was.  And that's the truth!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Dear Baby


My Dearest Baby,


How lucky I am to be your mommy.  You amaze me, every move you make within my belly confirms to me that you are growing in the way you should.  We wait with great anticipation for the day you come into the world. We have prepared a place for you in our home and in our hearts.  I am preparing myself to be your mommy, I am learning how to feed you and comfort you so that you will feel safe and secure in your new home.


I hope that our diligence in helping you feel safe and secure in your infancy creates a lasting impression on you.  May you always feel safe to run to my arms, no matter how big you may be.  May we grow nearer to each other as the years wear on and not farther apart.


May you grow to be healthy and happy and may you remember your childhood with fondness.  I wish for you to accomplish all that you dream and we promise to do all that we can help you achieve your dreams.


I promise sweet baby to talk to you in a way that you will listen and to listen to you in such a way that you will talk.  I promise to love you no matter what you do.


Believe in the power of prayer my sweet baby, believe in the power of love.  Believe in the power of my love for you.  I love you, we’ll meet soon.


With all the Love in my Heart,
Your Mommy