Mommy Judgement Day

***Written 5/26/12***

I've done a lot of jobs in my life.  I've been a lifeguard, a swimming teacher, I worked in door to door sales in the middle of summer in Phoenix Arizona, fast-food, reception, outdoor laborer college student and more.  Some of those jobs were really, really hard. 

I can remember sitting on the curb somewhere in the vast desert of Phoenix, Arizona after a particularly bad sales day.  I had been yelled at, threatened and had door after door slammed in my face.  It was 120 degrees (NOT lying)  and I had been outside for 9 hours and not made a single sale...meaning I just worked 9 hours for zero dollars.  I was hot, thirsty, homesick and heartsick.  I remember sitting on the curb under what little shade a palm tree offers, crying and crying.  After I had managed to pull myself together a little bit a Schwan delivery man pulled up to the house I was sitting in front of.  He of course noticed me in my pitiful state and presented me with an ice cream as well as some friendly small talk.  Feeling much better, I walked to the next house on the street and made my first sale of the day.  That was a hard day.

Of all the tough jobs I've done and long hours I've pulled by far the toughest job I've had is that of Mother.  I don't have to provide a list to explain why it's hard.  If you have ever had children, seen children or been a child you know EXACTLY why it's tough.  But the thing that makes it most difficult is the judgment and lack of support.  Everyone in the world seems to know how to raise you baby better than you do and they aren't shy to tell you why you stink or are failing at your job. 

In one particular instance, I had to take Kylea with me to an appointment.  It was passed her "wind-down" time and quickly approaching her bedtime.  I had no other options though, I had to bring her with me.  When Kylea gets tired she gets extra hyper and finds herself getting into anything and everything that she shouldn't.  I can tell when I have inadvertently missed her bedtimes because she begins sprinting around the couch while screeching and she laughs at EVERYTHING.  I call it the "sleepy sillies."

Anyway, Kylea was in FULL sleepy silly mode.  She was running me off my feet.  I was trying my best to make the visit meaningful and keep my toddler from wreaking havoc.  The conversation progressed and one woman commented on what a docile temperament another woman's 9 month old child had.  The woman quipped back, "It's got nothing to do with temperament and everything to do with schedules and expectations."  She made sure to look directly at me and the wiggly one year old sitting in my lap.

I smiled, but my heart broke.  I felt shockingly similar to the day that I sat on the curb in Phoenix and cried. only this time, no one would offer ice cream and encouraging words.  This time if things were hard, it was my fault. 

If this teaches me anything. It teaches me that it's my duty to love, support and respect my fellow mothers. We do enough self-shaming lets not pull each other down! 

So, mothers if you are feeling like you have just failed your own mommy judgement day remember this.

You are the perfect mother for your child. 

In your child's eyes you hang the moon. No one loves that sweet child quite the way that you do. 

Staycation

Kevin had a week off of work while in transition to a new job.  The ocean was calling our names.  We could just see ourselves building sandcastles, dipping our toes in the ocean, collecting sea shells.....  But did you know that last minute plane tickets cost; your right arm, your left leg, your first-born child and all of your worldly possessions?  It's true, they are wildly expensive.

I certainly have a mile-long honey-do list for my love.  He's been very busy with full-time work and full-time school.  Replacing a beach vacation with chores is a tough pill to swallow though.  Instead, we decided to be tourists in our own town.  We like to call it, a staycation!  It has been so fun!  

We've been very busy with all kinds of excursions.  Last night we had a dessert picnic in the park complete with a ball and some bubbles and of course sugary delights....like I said, we've been really enjoying our time together.

Today, we ventured into SLC to visit the Hogle Zoo.  Exhibit number one, monkeys.  Kylea was thrilled. She scratched her sides in true monkey style while "ooo oooo ah ah-ing"

....we left early in the morning and I did my hair in the car.  I see now that it didn't look as good as I thought it did.   *FAIL*

 The animals were all very active today.  We were able to catch the Bengal tiger cooling himself off in the water.  Tigers are simply majestic and it was a treat to be so up close and personal with one.

Multi-tasking. swimming and drinking water 

 The giraffes were very interested in little Kylea..

Quick, staring contest!  you and me.

p.s. we won! Giraffes have got nothing on us.

We saw some gorillas

 And to top off the day we took a [sleepy] Ky-ky on a train ride to see a few of the more of the animals that prefer seclusion.

NO more pictures, mommy!

We have just a couple more days of Staycation left.   I can't wait to see what we get to explore tomorrow.

One Spring Morning

In a field of wildflowers, on a bright sunny  spring morning Kylea had her 18 month old photos taken.  I can't believe how big and beautiful she is getting.  Here is a sneak peak at the session.

Carpe Diem

We are bursting with excitement here.  After two and a half years of searching and exhaustive interviewing Kevin has been offered a job!  It's for a slight raise (not as much as we were hoping, but still...we're excited!)  And, the kicker is, when Amex found out he was leaving the company for their competitor they asked him to spend the rest of his paid two weeks at home.  This is awesome news since he won't accrue any PTO for a few months in his new position.


In addition to all of that, graduation was last weekend.  My handsome, smart, talented husband is now the proud recipient of his Master's in Business Administration (MBA). I just can't express how proud I am.  He never gave up on interviewing, even when it seemed hopeless.  He never gave up on his education.  I love that he took the steps to make himself better personally and in his career.

The sun is shining, and the family is all home together.  I hear the ocean calling our name. Who's up for a road trip?  Carpe Diem!